Families are imperfect. We are humans and thereby, flawed people who can both love, encourage and inspire, while also inflicting hurt and pain. Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery while manipulating their father into believing that Joseph was dead. David’s father forgot to include him in the line-up when Samuel came to anoint one of his sons as King. Jacob stole Esau’s birthright. Hannah was tormented by her husband’s second wife, Peninnah. Miriam and Aaron, Moses’s siblings, spoke against his wife because of either her ethnicity or color.
Our families can be a source of conflict and multiple challenges. It causes frustration, hindrances, and disrupts our peace immensely. What does God want us to do? He wants us to lead with love.
Jesus said, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you.” (John 15:12)
Colossians 3:13 says, “Be tolerant with each other and, if someone has a complaint against anyone, forgive each other. As the Lord forgave you, so also forgive each other.”
In other versions, it might say “Forbearing one another” instead of being tolerant. The Greek word “forbearing” is anechomai. Anechomai means to endure, put up with, or have tolerance for one another. It is the opposite of acting prejudiced or being short-tempered with other people.
This is an “easier said than done” moment. Loving your imperfect family may mean engaging in active forgiveness, adhering to healthy boundaries, admitting when you are wrong or have messed up, mindfully repairing ruptures in the relationships, and extending grace. I heard a friend recently say, “you can’t always control your circumstances or the people around you, but you can choose to shine for Jesus”.
For those difficult and challenging family members, ask the Lord on how He specifically wants you to love and serve them. It will likely feel uncomfortable, and it may be something that you are not particularly excited about. Just know that when you choose to do these hard things, you are serving and honoring the Lord. And when you do, He will honor you.
Dear God, it has been rough and incredibly hard with family. I pray that you cause my heart to be tender towards them and please show me ways that I can love them well. I pray that as I serve them, they will see you in me shining brightly through. Amen.
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